We Need a Positive Vision for Sex

Christine Emba wants to move beyond a legalistic sexual ethic.

Dating as an evangelical Christian in large cities like New York City and Boston was an exhausting experience for me and many others like me. Men at church didn’t always want to ask explicitly for dates. But sifting through men on the apps made husband-hunting seem economic at best and compromising at worst. Was my self-proclaiming “Christian” date going to make a move I was uncomfortable with or prove to be as devout as our online conversation had led me to believe?

Washington Post columnist Christine Emba recently authored Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, a manifesto spun out of the unspoken misery within our culture’s approach to sex and dating. Emba, an unmarried evangelical-turned-Catholic, asks readers to consider that respect and dignity do indeed matter in a world where consent seems to be the only rule. I asked Emba about why she believes in the value of a Golden Rule sexual ethic.

Can you talk about a little bit how you identify spiritually?

My parents are both Nigerian immigrants and very devout Christians. The church I went to is very evangelical, complete with Wednesday night youth group. My senior year of college, I converted to Catholicism. I was attracted by the rich theological traditions and the beauty of the church. I still identify as Catholic.

In your “Sex Is Spiritual” chapter, you talk about growing up with evangelical purity culture. What would you change about the messages you grew up with?

There are a couple of things. First of all, purity culture gets a bad rap, which in many ways it probably deserves. But there are good things and real truths there: the idea that sex is meaningful, it’s a thing unlike any other that you share with another person that can have ...

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from Christianity Today Magazine
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